Kerry, Babes, Speedos and Politics

Tonight I realized how blessed I am. I have a drop dead beautiful wife, a decent job, a new house, a great extended family and-----I live in a state that no candidate cares about. Just imagine, if you live in a state with a tight senate race, or a battleground state like Ohio, your life sort of, well, sucks right now. YOU have a responsibility. YOUR vote may decide the fate of the nation. YOUR vote will determine the future of the free world. Meanwhile, MY vote is for stats.

Further, I get to watch all the TV I want without watching cheesey political ads. Political ads are no good because they don't have big breasted women wearing thongs waving seductively at some schmuck who just bought whatever is being advertised. This is supposed to be the nasty election. So where are the nasty scantily clad women?

Picture this: John Kerry is wearing his spiffy speedo gear while standing by his surf board. He is surrounded by half naked babes oohing phrases like, "Kerry is such a man. I would love to know a guy who would vote for him...ooh!" Now that is a commercial. It would show two things. First, that if you vote for Kerry you might meet up with one of these girls and say, with all the swagger you could muster, "Hey there lovely lady. I voted for Kerry. Buy you a drink?" And, of course, she would say yes. The second important point is that Kerry would be shown to have much better taste in women than Bill Clinton. That is, if you can ignore Teresa.
But anyway, I'm not missing anything. We don't get those tacky political ads much around these parts and that makes me happy.