Monica Lewinski To Attend The Next Debate!

President Bush decided to show up for the debate tonight. This was not expected and the Kerry camp was beginning to smell blood. Kerry was clearly caught off guard but rose to the moment.
But who won? Here are the categories and their winners. No, not topics - categories.

Bush wins these categories.

1. Funny, likeable guy category.

2. Take on the moderator category.

3. Mangle the english language category. (Oh man, he had some moments.)

4. Heartfelt moment category.


Kerry won in these areas.

1. Excuse me while I ignore your question and give a prepared answer to a question you didn't ask category.

2. Look down your nose category.

3. Drop as many names as in a small town phone book category.

4. Having a small Bush-moment category. (Kerry couldn't find the words "spinal injury" so he started listing spinal injuries until he could think of it.)

The category they tied in was, appropriately enough, the tie category. Don't these guys have more colors than blue and red? And shouldn't Bush wear red for red states and Kerry blue for blue states? For the next debate, I suggest that Monica Lewinski pick out a tie for each candidate which they must tie by themselves on national TV. Ratings would go through the roof.

If I missed any categories feel free to add them.