The Difference Between A Roll And A Biscuit

I have recently written about my brother's (The Terminator) extended service in Iraq. There will be more stories coming soon and if he won't tell them then I just have to make some up - because, hey, I just promised more of those stories. Anyway, since my sister is about to download a linoleum lizard any day, I thought it appropriate to give you, the reader, a small glance at my other siblings' families. Since my brother is old and could die any day it is only fair that his family be featured first.

The Terminator is married to the Terminatrix and they have one son. The kid's name is Opie or Barney or some other name from the old TV show and he is already smarter than his dad (which may not be saying much). Oh, his name is Android, the Son of Terminator and Terminatrix. Android is in high school and apparently is really enjoying his third tour of duty in tenth grade. He has, according to his father, a girlfriend named Stella or Steve or something. She supposedly has only one tooth and it is smack dab ("smack dab" - sounds like Andy Griffith doesn't it?) in the middle of her mouth. Having the one tooth placed perfectly in the center of her mouth is helpful because she works at the local Krispy Kreme carving holes in doughnuts.

The tooth, after years of service in the doughnut industry, is not doing so well and has turned an ominous shade of green. Fortunately, the Krispy Kreme Dental Plan will cover the replacement of the tooth and, to ensure longevity and more efficient cutting, this one will be gold plated. This makes The Terminator happy because it means a continued steady flow of free doughnuts to his house.

I don't know why The Terminator is so interested in free doughnuts because The Terminatrix can really cook. Food is serious business at the Terminator household and both The Terminator and Android are very well fed. Of course, because of the genetic make-up of her husband and son, the Terminatrix allows no beans in the house. But she does serve up real food real well. What she does best is dinner rolls. She makes great rolls. DO NOT make the mistake here of confusing a roll with a biscuit. Yankees tend to not know the difference so I'll take a moment and explain the difference here.

You can eat a roll faster than you can eat a biscuit. Biscuits are dryer and you must stop and sip some beverage mid-bisciut. As for rolls, you can eat nine or ten of those suckers without getting thirsty. Anyway, that's the way my family does it.

So if the Terminatrix will leave her recipe for rolls or biscuits or any other favorite dish of either The Terminator or Android, Son of The Terminator and Terminatrix - all of cyber space would appreciate it. Meanwhile, I think I'll go get some doughnuts.